Nurse brain please turn off

Once a nurse, always a nurse.

So once your a nurse, you develop a “nurse brain.” A nurse brain consist of critical thinking, time management and attention to detail. Because of this, a nurse brain never takes a break even when the nurse is off duty or on vacation.

I know what your thinking “what is she talking about??”

Let me give you examples:

1. Instagram– A picture of a pretty girl sitting on the street, curb, side of a building or a brick on the parking lot. Her $3,000 purse perfectly positioned for the camera to see the label.

A regular person will think – wow she’s pretty, #goals, I want that outfit, I want that purse.

A nurse would think – WTF, is she doing. The street, curb, side of the building is filthy and full of germs. I hope she brought some disinfecting wipes to wipe the bottom of that $3,000 purse down.

I would also be thinking “holy shit $3,000 purse!!”  To be honest, I would love to have that $3,000 purse so if someone would like to give me a $3,000 purse. I will gladly accept it! I have a couple of Louis Vuitton purse, but I had to save up for that. I had buyers remorse for a couple of days because that amount of money could be sitting in my savings account accruing interest. But I figured I work hard, it’s my birthday so I’m going to treat myself to a Louis Vuitton purse. But you can bet that my Louis Vuitton would not be laying on the nasty concrete. Hell no! And it has a Bath and Body sanitizer gel hanging on it. You know the rule, foam in /foam out/ foam everything.

Remember Microbiology class when you went all over the school to swab door knobs, bathroom area and water fountain to see what kind of bacteria will grow into a petri dish. That was an eye opener.

How do you know when your nursing life has rubbed off on your children?

When they are using a public restroom, they use a paper towel to turn off the water and a paper towel to open the door. Oh, so proud. #mymomsanurse. lol.

2.  A good looking shirtless man
– a regular person would be drooling over that eye candy, looking at his bulge through those jeans.

A nurse would think ” that’s a good looking man, I can definitely hit that…..vein!” “Look at that vein bulging, I wouldn’t even need a tourniquet for that!”

Yes, thats how dirty a nurse mind works. We can’t help but look at the vein on a random man, when everyone else is looking at that body. Okay, nurse looks at hot bodies too. We also look at random people’s vein at the grocery check out line.

3. Diagnosing strangers– When a stranger walks around with red, inflamed lower extremities.

A regular person would think your rash is terrible, you should see your physician.

A nurse is thinking “crap, you have some bad cellulitis going on buddy.” Every nurse is guilty of practicing out of our scope of practice and tries to diagnose random people we see. We can’t help it, because our nurse brain doesn’t shut off.  I’ll be on a cruise and see someone with beet red legs and I’m trying to diagnose him. I see a lady with a productive cough and I’m trying to debate what kind of diagnosis I should give her. I see erratic behavior and I’ll try to debate if it’s alcohol consumption or diagnose her with a mental disorder.

It doesn’t stop, I can relate almost everything I see to my nursing field.  If I hear butterfly, I think butterfly needle before I think of a butterfly creature.

I think I just need to vacation more. Yep, thats my reasoning and I’ll share that with my husband.

Here’s my shitty nursing care plan:

Nursing Diagnosis Assessment Nurse planning Intervention Rationale Evaluation
Decreased fun output related to increased mommy workload. Patient exhibit:

Restlessness

-Excessive cleaning

-Fun scale 6/10

-Sleep disturbance

-Irritability

-Constipation

The patient will express increase in fun scale. -Massage

-Facial

-Mani/pedi

-alcohol consumption

-laxative

-cruise vacation

-Prevent fatigue/irritability

-To improve fun scale

-Decrease sleep disturbance

Patient will be free from stress, demonstrated by decrease irritability and produce a bowel movement.

I hated care plans in nursing school. Now we have electronic care plans that I click on at work. I can’t escape them.

Nurses if you know how to turn off your nurse brain, please share.

 

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